my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
