We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
