Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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