there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
