I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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