all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
