We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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