now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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