We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
pray to the hookup gods
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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