she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You were trust falling into bushes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
