She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
