so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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