Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
