you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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