I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
