she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we're so committed to being not committed
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
