you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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