This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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