How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
