Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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