triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
