you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
