She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
