Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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