a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
