Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
