he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
