So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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