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What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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