So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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