I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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