Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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