sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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