um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
