I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
