Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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