idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
