I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize