O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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