***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
