Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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