Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
