i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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