he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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