Your tits are I can't wait for
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
