I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
