I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
