you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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