i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
