how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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