She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
