Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
