I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize