He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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