We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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