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you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
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